I had put together a set list for tonight but it just didn't flow like my previous acts and because so much material was related to porn, I felt like it didn't represent me properly as a comedian or a person. So I scrapped it.

I started working on a second set list based on a retrospective of my life now that I've turned 30. I got half way through and I liked it but it sounded more like a biography than something funny to act out on stage. So I scrapped that too.

But somehow I managed to mix the two together into a coherent sequence of thoughts and, by accident, worked out a way to deliver them as deadpan. Up to now I've only delivered the odd tag as deadpan, but this is taking the whole set list to the extreme.

While I was practicing last night I broke out into laughter because I imagined people laughing and thought it was that hilarious. That doesn't happen very often (repetition makes it lose the spark)!

I feel so excited to go try this tonight, whereas before I was really dreading going up. I feel like this humour reflects more of my true personal thoughts and opinions, which is exciting for me because I'm trying hard to make my comedy more authentic to my natural sense of humour (if I have one).

With that said I'm now terrified it's going to bomb completely, because it's so different to what I've done in the past and people who've seen me before might be lost and not be able to cross that gulf with me. Deadpan brings with it (in my head, at least) the risk of being boring. I'm imagining a few people leaving through the set right now.

But I think (and hope so bad) that some people will get it. Here goes everything!